What Goes Down Must Come Up

Let's mark this in the books for the worst summer on record. The summer I got my wisdom teeth pulled was more enjoyable than this summer, just let that sink in for a second.

But I want to start this off in January. I received a letter from my college stating that I was being put on academic probation due to my GPA being too low to meet the institution's standards. So that semester I decided it would be a great idea to take three senior-level lab courses. I made a lot of mistakes last school year. A lot of stupid mistakes.

In May I stopped sleeping and eating normally, and I had a couple of emotional breakdowns a week. I dropped a lot of weight and felt awful all the time. Living on coffee and snacks, with maybe a sandwich added in here and there, I was sleeping at irregular times during the day and not at night. It all culminated in me sobbing in a courtyard outside a dormitory after my friend joked that I was a mess.

What ended up happening was this; I didn't get the grades I needed to stay at my school. So shortly thereafter in June, I got a letter telling me that I was dismissed from the college but that I could appeal the dismissal. It was a piece of paper that basically said, "You messed up big time- we're kicking you out. But you can try to convince us otherwise." I cried for what felt like weeks. And I cried in front of the Academic Standings board during my appeal. Openly and quite embarrassingly cried, if I'm being honest. They asked if I would be willing to change majors, and I said yes. So they allowed me back in, on the condition that I changed my major to Communications.

So lets keep a list of all of the things that have made this summer absolute crap, starting with my dismissal:

1. Dismissal from college
2. Allowed back on the condition I switch my major, aka start from scratch after three years of work
3. Consequentially lost my scholarship on account of my GPA being so low
4. Sat at home alone for the entire month of June because I was stranded without a car
5. I've had a lot of time to sit and hate myself a lot and I think I reached an all time high for self-loathing, I really do.

There are more, but those are the top offenders as to why this has been the worst summer on record for my entire life. It's been an uphill battle to not head down a path of self destruction.

The only good thing this summer has given me is the drive to push myself up from rock bottom. I have a fresh start, and I would be a fool not to use it to my advantage.

Everything might come up roses after all.